Describe one positive change you have made in your life.

If I had to select one positive change I have made in my life, it is the following: stopped worrying about fitting in or belonging. If I fit in with a particular group or social class, that is fantastic. If I do not, so be it – I stopped overthinking about that topic and losing sleep over it.

Some clarification is in order here.

It is important for your mental health to have a sense of belonging. We all need friendships, a social circle and the support of our peers. It is important for our self-esteem to obtain the approval of our friends and colleagues. When my manager gives me feedback about my work, I listen closely and change my work behaviour to meet the requirements of the job.

In Australia, there is an ongoing discussion about social cohesion. What exactly does that phrase mean? Political commentators from the major parties, as well as sociologists and immigration experts have weighed in on the topic. Under previous prime ministers, social cohesion was sometimes used interchangeably with social inclusion. The latter term has a more emphasis on the notion of belonging.

The underlying concept of social cohesion is nothing new. The term tries to encapsulate how governments can shape a society in which individuals feel they belong, and in reciprocal fashion how individuals can participate in activities that increase and encourage a sense of belonging. Both the wider community and the individual must change to achieve social cohesion.

Indeed, the Islamic philosopher and scholar Ibn Khaldun (1332 – 1406) arguably the founder of sociology, elaborated a concept of asabiyyah, or group cohesion. Khaldun argued that a social group’s ability to bind individuals together was the most crucial factor in sustaining a group’s longevity and consistency. Working for the group did not negate the individual; on the contrary, an individual’s best way to realise their own belonging is to contribute to the wellbeing of the group.

Greater urbanisation and economic mercantile activity has eroded social bonds, diminishing an individual’s ability to connect, thus increasing isolation and social fragmentation.

Erik Eriksson (1902 – 1994), the noted social psychologist, highlighted how he stumbled upon the issue of belonging. Being of Danish Jewish background, he found himself attacked by non-Jewish Danish students for being a Jew; yet at the yeshiva, he was attacked by Jewish students for being a blond, blue-eyed Nordic type.

I have found that belonging is a two-edged sword; being born in Australia, I still get challenged by the obnoxious question ‘where do you come from?’ by the Anglo Australians of the low IQ variety. I still have to prove my ‘Australian-ness’, even though I have lived here all my life.

While among Armenians, my support for the Palestinian cause is challenged by the contemptuously sneering question ‘why are you with Muslims?’ by my fellow diasporan Armenians infected with the same low IQ as the Anglo Australian majority.

My late father taught me to stand with the oppressed, regardless of their religious affiliation or ethnicity. So I have found the lack of solidarity among Sydney Armenians a barrier to a sense of collective belonging. The Palestinians did not choose the religion of their colonisers. If the oppressors of the Palestinians were Catholic, Buddhist or Sikh, I am certain they would resist colonisation in the ways they are currently doing.

I have had to stop overthinking about a loss of belonging, and concentrate on the areas where I do belong. Every week, I make it a point to read about an Islamic philosopher or scientist from the golden age of Islam. No, I am not religious myself, but reading that Muslim scholars were wrestling with questions that we are grappling with today gives me a strong sense of satisfaction. The Anglophone world owes an enormous debt of gratitude to the Arab/Islamic scholars.

In this world of neoliberal capitalism, hyper-individualistic competition is elevated to a way of life. It is time to break away from this dystopian, dysfunctional consensus, and find ways of belonging which are based on community solidarity.